Turning 50 Jokes & Over 50 Jokes?
They say that when you’re over 50 one of the first things to go is your… now what on earth was I writing?
8 minutes later…
Ah that’s right, enjoy all the over 50 and turning 50 jokes below, and please contribute below if you have got any ones you think should be included.
You’re getting past it when getting lucky means you’ve won the lottery.
Warning signs you’re getting old are when you say things such as ‘In my day’ or ‘When I was a lad’.
I’m at that age where my back goes out more than I do.
I’m getting to an age when I can only enjoy the last sport left. It is called hunting for my spectacles.
I’ve got everything I always had. Only it’s six inches lower.
Now I’m over 50 my doctor says I should go out and get more fresh air and exercise. I said, ‘ All right, I’ll drive with the car window open.
You know you’ve had one birthday too many when your cake collapses from the weight of the candles.
Are you going to have candles on your birthday cake? “No, it’s a birthday party, not a torchlight procession.”
You’re getting past it when you invite women to spend a moderately grubby weekend with you.
Old age is when candlelit dinners are no longer romantic because you can’t read the menu.
You’re getting past it when making love turns you into a wild animal – a sloth.
I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the time he killed himself.
At 50 you get the urge, but cant remember what for.
You know your getting older when a fortune teller offers to read your face.
When you’re over 50 you can still do all the things you did when you were 17, that’s if you don’t mind making a complete prat of yourself.
From birth to age 18, a girl needs good parents, from 18-35 she needs good looks, from 35-55 she needs a good personality, and from 55 on she needs cash.
You’re getting past it when you don’t need to chase women any more – I just hook them with my walking stick.
You can only hold your stomach in for so many years.
You’re getting past it when you look forward to a dull evening in.
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